Thursday, July 03, 2008

Colombian Hostages Freed

July 02, 2008

So the big news is hitting the wires...a group of Colombian hostages, including Ingrid Betancourt and three American defense contractors, have been rescued by the Colombian military. This is great news! Of course, everyone who has a stake in Colombia will have some thoughts on this development...

Alvaro Uribe: Hot damn! Talk about timing. Now I can get that constitutional amendment passed for a third term no problem. Hell, they'll probably even want to just make me president for life or something. Viva Uribe!

Everyone Else in Colombia: Oh shit, now Uribe will probably try and make himself president for life or something.

Hugo Chavez: I guess that $300 million I supposedly gave the FARC sure as hell didn't help them LEARN HOW TO HIDE HOSTAGES BETTER!

George W. Bush: Does this mean we can't invade Venezuela?

John McCain: Does this mean we can't invade Venezuela?

Rafael Correa: Does this mean we can bomb Colombian territory without asking them first?

Barack Obama: How can I work "Yes, we can!" into a speech about this?

Christopher Walken in that Amazing SNL Skit: I need more cowbell! I've got a fever for more cowbell!

The FARC: Seriously, we're not very good at this guerilla warfare stuff. Che made it sound eaaaaasy...

The Right-Wing Paramilitary Death Squads: See Alvaro Uribe.

We kid. We're happy that their ordeal is over, and we imagine they're even happier.


MC Fanon said...

I lol'ed. Thanks.

roman said...

The gang that could'nt shoot straight!

celticfire said...

That was funny.

Which FRSO is backing Obama?

Frank Partisan said...

Dave M: FARC could have the Colombian government grant their whole program, and Colombia would still be the same repressive state.

Roman: They turned themselves into jokes.

Celticfire: This FRSO. They use old Communist Party language, as vote against McCain. They are big time supporters of FARC. In the local antiwar coalition, they pack meetings, since I came.

Entdinglichung said...

nice text ... may I add something:

German media/German politians: Was Werner Mauss involved? And for whom?

btw ... the Farc started as a kind of peasant milita for self-defense against liberal and conservative armed groups and not as Che-impersonators

Frank Partisan said...

Entdinglichung: I doubt if Werner Mauss was involved. It was entirely FARC's own stupidity.

Hugo Chavez gave them an oppurtunity to release the hostages with honor, and they threw it back in his face.

celticfire said...

Ren: Well that group already considers me an irreversible revisionist because I talk to Trotskyists and don't lick Stalin's boot heels. Yet they seem to be the ones dabbling in electoral politics...strange...

Frank Partisan said...

Celticfire: You don't I believe cross paths with FRSO, like I have to. If you need amminition against them, email me.

Anonymous said...

Gee, as part of the ruse to free the hostages, they told the FARC guards that the prisoners were being transported to a camp INSIDE VENEZUELA.... no wonder they believed the Columbians.

Anonymous said...

Gee, they even painted the transport helicopter to look like a Venezuelan bird.

Frank Partisan said...

FJ: Chavez offered them a chance to release the hostages with honor. They blew him off.

They made their own problems.

Anonymous said...

The honor of releasing the hostages would have been ALL Hugo's. This Columbian hostage/extortion situation has moved "beyond" concepts of honor and into the realm of pure FARCe.

Frank Partisan said...

FJ: FARC screwed up by not accepting Chavez's offer.

jams o donnell said...

THe most important thing is that the hotages have been freed.

troutsky said...

It is a distraction to think the only conflict in Colombia is between FARC and government. The unions and social movements trying to create autonomous development models are under attack from corporate oil, Coke, Fruit and Coffee, backed by government forces.

Frank Partisan said...

Jams: Tactics as kidnapping only can make the oligarchy look good.

Troutsky: Chavez wants FARC disarmed, to get rid of the rationale for funding Plan Colombia, amongst others the "guerilla problem."

When the US sends Colombia tanks, they are not aimed at FARC.

Foxessa said...

Ingrid Betancourt says she's going to write a play.

Since, 'They Say' the hostage rescue was stage, that seems an appropriate response.

Love, C.

MC Fanon said...

Ren, Chavez's call for FARC to end their guerilla war was strategic at both ends. I agree with you entirely that they should have heeded his call. This, in addition to Uribe's more aggressive campaign against them in recent months, marks the demise of FARC if there were any question previously.

Venezuela Analysis posted an article a week or so back condemning Chavez's call. I thought it was ludicrous. At this stage, if FARC were to re-emerge into the political sector and they were similarly targetted as before by the paramilitaries, Colombia's neighbors would never stand for such a crackdown. The political climate is very different under Uribe and with more eyes watching, he could not afford to wage proxy terrorism on FARC should they reconcile with mainstream Colombian politics.

Tula 49 said...

Hehe. That was a funny little skit.

celticfire, to get an idea of what the FRSO (Fightback) organization is like, it is not that hard to do: They are just basically the CPUSA (rabid liberals) with a "Maoist" label.

Have the members of FRSO (Fightback) ever met a Democrat they didn't like?

Frank Partisan said...

Tula49: Liberals sincerely believe their interests are served by the Democratic Party. FRSO is a Stalinist group. They don't believe in the democracy part of bourgeoise democracy. They are consciously against socialism, for a popular front. Stalinism is more conservative than liberalism.

DaveM: VenezuelaAnalysis has a coalition of views. Some "Bolivarians" have no perspective beyond nationalism and cheerleading.

FARC can't really change into a legal entity. They have no program politically beyond their agrarian reform.

I'm hoping to have an interview with a Colombian trade unionist.

I agree the world is watching. FARC is missing two things to take advantage of the situation; a political program and tactical flexibility.

Foxesssa: Staged or not, FARC didn't look good.

Una said...

I think it is strange that Ingrid Betancourt had that look as good, with their perfect teeth, with a great weight for having spent many years living in terrible conditions. I do not know. There is something strange in all this, but I am glad a lot of that is free, will now trade their experiences, and I do not like it either.

Frank Partisan said...

María Teresa: A mass moovement shouldn't have to resort to kidnapping.

Dave Brown said...

Here's an interesting comment

Rita Loca said...

What a strange sense of humor.

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